Success and Attitude

We are always taught from childhood to be good, be humble, to help others in need, be unselfish, honest and all those things that would make us a good human! But as we grow our character gets moulded more by experience and influence than by childhood teachings!

Once during a feedback session with our manager, I was told to "be assertive". It was actually a feeback on another colleague... a few complaints had raised against him so Mr.Manager had called a group meeting and was taking feedback from all. I had none so he thought I was not being open... and thus the comment "be assertive". I was pretty junior then. I had no idea what he meant and I honestly didn't have any issues with the subject of discussion!

What did he mean? 

Over the time my managers have changed. That had happened about 12 years back and now, I am pretty senior. A manager myself! And, I still wonder what did he mean? What was I supposed to have said? The said person had temper issues but I was ok with it. I could empathize with him. So, did that make me a weak person? 

Does being assertive means be aggressive (to an extent)? 

Our office have a fair amount of females in higher position and most of them I find forcefully confident with a tinge of arrogance and pride unlike the men who emanates a smooth confidence with a smiling attitude which makes you feel an instant connection! Whereas one would think twice before speaking to the lady superiors! I wonder why this difference? Do we (female office bearers) need to become like that to climb the ladder or does the position demands one to be like that? Amidst the men counterpart do we feel the need to raise the voice to be heard or taken serious? Aren't we way ahead of that kind of era? 

 

Personally my colleagues don't seem to differentiate between ladies and gents. Atleast I haven't seen such a discrimination in my office! But yet I see them fighting their way up with arrogance, false pride, selfishness and sometimes dishonesty. But where is the battle? Competition is everywhere but can't we succeed being true to our selves and our fellow beings? Can't we succeed together without arrogance? Does one have to tackle others if possible to reach the podium? Dishonesty and selfishness I see everywhere and they seem to be heard and seen and recogonised and awarded. What about the honest, humble us? Don't we have a chance? Or, is it that the corporate world is not for the "good" people?

Again, who defines good and bad? We are taught to be unselfish... To provide for others if we can. We name it "charity" when we grow up. And who gives charity without the thought 'whats in it for us'? What were we taught when we were kids and what do we teach ourselves when we grow? What are we? The real we? 

PS: I believe honesty is the best policy, no matter what! 

I remember with fondness something a friend of mine had scribbled in my slam book during the last days of our school... "You are the most humble person I had ever met. May you remain the same." 

And the pride and happiness this entry had given me... It still overwhelms me! I have learned in my childhood and as I grew up and as I look around this selfish arrogant world...

Lets be true to ourselves and the world around us! Because we are the present and the future... because what we are will be the lessons for the future generations!